Ten Things Every Caregiver Needs to
Know
by Rene Cantwell
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- YOU ARE NOT ALONE. ASK FOR HELP. This may be new
to you-but countless others (over 50 million in this country alone) are
caregivers. Many have been successfully coping for as long as families have
existed. The trick is to find those who do it well and be open to what they
have to teach.
- BE AN INFORMED CONSUMER. Whatever the cause of
your loved one's frailty, research and learn all you can about it and available
services. Take advantage of discharge planning and home care services. Talk to
professionals in the field, and let them guide you, but also use the Internet,
and libraries to help yourself understand as much as possible.
- WRITE IT DOWN. Buy a small sturdy notepad or
address book to log in names, dates and information. Always keep it with you
because you never know when you will need to refer back for clarification or
reach out to a contact person.
- BRAIN OVERLOAD. Recognize that your abilities to
concentrate, organize & delegate will be tested, and eventually strengthened
as you decide to move forward.
- BE ASSERTIVE, NOT AGGRESSIVE. Learn how to
effectively communicate with the professionals providing care for your loved
one. Learn their names, keep notes so that you can ask direct questions, and
note the answers.
- DO NOT ASSUME THAT DIRECTIONS ARE FOLLOWED. We
are all human. Reviewing any change in your loved ones care plan and or
medications is essential. Make yourself available for care plan meetings-you
will help the professionals understand your family dynamics, and you will learn
of changes and recommendations. Follow through with all involved. Have the
changes been implemented? Are those changes are having a positive effect for
your loved one?
- DESIGNATE ONE FAMILY MEMBER TO BE THE PATIENT'S
ADVOCATE. The professionals providing care will need one person to communicate
with. All other family members need to support that person the best they can.
Use this opportunity to come together; there is no time or energy for negative
behavior, whatever your differences-put them aside.
- PRACTICE LISTENING. It's harder than you think,
but by learning to listen you can shut off the chatter within you and open
yourself to truly engage in what others have to offer. (See exercise on
reverse)
- PROMOTE INDEPENDENCE WITHIN PROPER CONTEXT. We
all need to feel that we are in control of our lives. Imagine an event that
would render you incapacitated to some degree. How would you feel if your
advocate made your feelings and desires less significant than their own? Of
course, proper context is the key. But always consider how you would feel in
that person's place.
- MAINTAIN AN INDIVIDUAL'S DIGNITY. Do not project
your feelings, wishes or intentions to your loved one. Presumably they have
expressed their wishes previously; hopefully all legal documents are in order.
Deal in fact, do your best to not make very important decisions when overwhelmed
with emotion. Above all pray for grace, and nourish your sense of
humor.
Rene' Cantwell,
Founder
FAMILIES OF LOVED ONES MAGAZINE
STRATEGIES AND
RESOURCES FOR INVOLVED FAMILIES &
CAREGIVERS
www.familiesoflovedones.com 201.694.1860
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